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  • Leslie Merrell

Charlie and the In-laws

Updated: Jan 1

My in-laws were with us over Christmas, and they brought their dog, Charlie. Charlie is an adorable, chocolate, mini-schnauzer. He is almost two years old, and probably doesn't weigh more than 13 lbs.

Charlie thinks that it is his job to protect my in-laws from ALL danger. He is constantly on alert for anything that could pose a threat. He deems anything new or different as a risk. Charlie believes that any unfamiliar sound, or even a change of clothes, could signal the end of life as we know it.


As I observed Charlie, I realized that he is the perfect embodiment of our primitive brains. Our brains are wired to be constantly on alert for anything that could pose a threat. They are watching out for our good. But, like Charlie, they sometimes (often) get it wrong. Our primitive brains think that emotional discomfort is life-threatening; that trying something new is a recipe for doom; and that hard conversations could signal the end of life as we know it.

Well, if Charlie embodies our primitive brains, then my in-laws could represent our prefrontal cortexes -- the part of our brain that can reason, and plan, and make informed decisions. My in-laws did not run for cover every time Charlie barked his warnings. They did not freeze in terror. They did not start yelling or throwing things at us, or the delivery man, or our neighbors, or my change of clothes. Rather, they acknowledged him, and reassured him that nothing had gone wrong. Likewise, we have the ability to reason through the danger signals our brain sends to us, and to take reasoned, informed, intentional action.

For many years, I allowed my primitive brain to call the shots. I avoided hard conversations. I people-pleased. I passed up challenges, adventures, and opportunities. All because I believed the well-intentioned, but misinformed, warning “barking” of my brain.

So, today, I would like to thank my prefrontal cortex for allowing me to not be ruled by a paranoid, loud, over-protective primitive brain. Thanks for your warning, "Charlie". You are adorable, but I've got this.

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